I'm recently off of a great night out with about 14 crazy bitches. Seriously. Never before have I so inconspicuously flanked a group of queen-bee party girls; I wouldn't have even made the outtakes for Girls Gone Wild had someone been filming the lot of us — and I'm not someone particularly used to losing the screentime.
If you've been following my career (which all 3 of my friends who read this have), you know I was recently keeping a sex column in college — which I thought was often brash and cutting. Well, let me tell you, after dining at Hu's on Ellice with a couple of ladies with true tales about zucchini mishaps and "Pussy Wizards," I had to draw just one logical conclusion: I'm a Mormon compared to these gals.
However, it appears I'm not alone. You might think I'd launch into a topical analysis of the show Big Love now; a show that spins a relatively sensitive portrayal of a functioning polygamist family which got Chloe Sevigny a Best Supporting Actress Golden Globe yesterday, or jokingly compare my life to Mormon men and women who save themselves for marriage (albeit plural). Nope, I'm going to talk about that other show about Mormon fundamentalism: The Bachelor.
Before you start defending your "guilty pleasure," don't assume I'm trashing the show. 'Cause I'm not. I simply want to point out the injustice that was done to poor little Rozlyn in The Bachelor Season 14's alleged sex scandal. If you're in the dark about this, apparently Rozlyn, a contender in the show, had a sexual encounter or affair with a staff member of The Bachelor, and was outed by the other cast members competing for one man's heart (surprise, surprise).
For many people, the logical conclusion to that issue played out: Roz was kicked off the show for her transgressions. ....But wait a minute, critical thinkers: Isn't Mr. Bachelor playing every single one of these girls? Isn't polygamy kind of the purpose of the show? If you ask me, they're all in open relationships, considering the girls accept that he's dating every one of them at once. Why should he get to demand exclusivity? — unless we believe like Mormon fundamentalists believe, that only men can collect wives/girlfriends. Women share.
Sincerely,
FrotchShadowOnTheWall
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