Sweeney and Brenlee's List of Vanccomplishments

Sweeney:

1) Zero nosebleeds.

2) Bought first pair of pantyhose. They worked: 2 makeout seshes that night.

3) Helped to navigate a 16-bus detour in downtown Vancouver spanning roughly only 10 blocks.

4) Cupcakes eaten for dinner: 1. 2. OK, 3.

5) Gay hag opportunities: 1.

6) Creative uses of pantyliners on foot: 2.

Brenlee:

1) Umbrellas lost: 2.

2) 18-piece sushi order totaling under $5: 1.

3) National television stations broken into and applied to: 1.

4) Gay hag kisses: 1.

5) Cases of potential H1N1: 1.

6) Instances of pantless daytime attire: 3.

Shared successes:

1) Did astoundingly accurate impressions of wet rats after walking downtown to Cafe Crepe.

2) Being mistaken for a gay couple.

3) Dodging security at Skytrain stations.

4) Scalping 'Nucks tickets.

Shared failures:

1) Moving to better seats for said game.

2) Navigation of one block or more.

3) Unnecessary trips to the airport: 1.

4) Trips to Whistler: 0.

Jumpin' the Bandwagon...

I know I'm ultra-late on jumping the bandwagon on these, but in case anyone else was w/out C (cable, not child) in the last year, here are some of the best things you've been missing:

Matthew Morrison on GLEEEEEEE (SO obvious, but seriously, this week sealed the deal for my true crush on Mr. Schu! It's been too long since I had a real schoolteacher crush, and I can't go any longer!!)

Also, Jane Lynch (Glee cast member and a personal fave comedienne) rocked my socks as usual on Conan.

Here's a taste:

Did I mention Conan, is also awesome?

If anyone else has been skipping over the After Show with their PVR, try catching it in reruns or stay tuned next time if you actually watch The Hills or Peak Season live. Jessi Cruickshank and Dan Levy might be the most entertaining, and at least most intelligent, part of the package.

The duo are only getting better with Dan doing a body reveal and Jessi doing a special on Kenya. Unfortunately, I can't embed it, but you can check out Dan's almost-6-pack on Clip 2 of the Aftershow on MTV's website (his shirtless bod is the image for the link at http://www.mtv.ca/).

And last but not least... I caught my first episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm on Shaw On Demand's freebies this week, and they. Are. Unbelievably. Awesome.

The Seinfeld creator creates his usual magic in the mundane and I die of embarrassment for his character each week because it's so relatable. Check it out if you've been awash with me for the last few years. (OMG, it's in its 7th season.... Bandwagon jumping.. Better late than never!.?!)

Watch Larry try to convince Jerry he's changed his take on reunion shows:

4 Femmes I’m Grateful Four…

1) Amy Poehler: woman of the year? Heck yes! Glamour magazine placed Poehler among its Top 12 females of the year for heading the hilarious sitcom Parks and Recreation, making sporadic, much appreciated returns to the Weekend Update desk at SNL, nailing the role of surrogate mother with a low IQ on Baby Mama, and being way, way too cute and likable! Check out the highlights from the Top 12’s acceptance speeches!

2) Leighton Meester as the new XXXtina?

I can’t get enough of her bitchy shenanigans on Gossip Girl, her surprising tenderness as girlfriend to the doubly sexy Chuck Bass on the same show, and her sultry singing voice! Oh, and her seXXX appeal! After assisting with the chorus on the super successful “Good Girls Gone Bad” with Cobra Starship, she’s opened up the world to taking her solo career more seriously, and her moves don’t hurt! Check out her newest video:

Well played, Meester!

3) The entire cast of Nine. But in the interest of keeping the theme, my newest obsession among the cast: Penelope Cruz. I latin love(he)r! After getting the wrong impression of her from dating the horrendous Tom Cruise, and thinking she was a typical Spanish beauty we’ve all seen before, I have crossed over. Vicky Cristina Barcelona was like her debut into fabulousity for me, and seeing her as ScarJo’s muse totally convinced me why she’s been able to build a career as a director’s muse and has been cast as a director's mistress in Nine! Forget Be Italian, Be Latin!

Here's the movie trailer... *drools with envy*

Editor's note: She was also fierce in Blow. I was just too young and naive to notice (it came out in '01!!)

4) Gaga in her new vid. Her with big eyes. Her in a negligee. Her with wicked 3-foot hair. Her:

 

Just Like Clockwork..

Doooddllllu, dooodlu, dooodlu...

Ok, maybe the time switch isn't as dramatic as an awesome throwback moment from Wayne's World, but it really is pretty fuckin' confusing.

Did I, or didn't I change my clock? Which clocks are changed in the house?

Does it mean I gain an hour or lose some sleep? (All accounting and actuarial students, disregard this. The rest of us spin trying to figure this out.)

Also, how the F do I change half of my clocks (think new cars, cell phones... anyone still wearing a watch?)

I found myself questioning an awesome premise as I awoke in an unusually wide-awake moment early Sunday morning (it was Halloween the night before, so I'm guessing I was dehydrated and restless, making me weirdly wired and alert. PS: whoever dictates the time changes out there: post-Halloween day, not your best work).

What if we were allowed to redo an hour along with the time change, and even change decisions made during that time? Like everyone had to forget what happened because the universe gave us a second chance?

We all pretty much widely accept that leaving the 204 means everyone drops their relationship statuses, so why can't we agree to let the universe (or the time-change dictator) give us a new hour, for real?

I bet Halloween night led to a bunch of decisions and messes that could be repaired by one hour of damage control. 

Note: Any babies made on Halloween night is the only exception to this. Permanent things like cells splitting and chromosomes aligning have to stay on the clock. 

But overall, Wouldn't it be nice?

I celebrated this new holiday/re-do day I conceptualized by bleaching my whites I wore to a Halloween party.. and it worked! (Miraculously? We're talkin' red wine, permanent stuff.)

I might have already beat the universe with this clockwork reversal thing!

(Hmm.. And my costume was Alex from A Clockwork Orange... Coincidence? :))